Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish


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im 21. studying in SP ( Business Admin ). i love malay novels. i love malay dramas. i love korean dramas. JIWANG rocks my socks. i love singing. im a huge fan of KAMAL ADLI & ASHRAF MUSLIM!!!

admission to SP (Business School)
to see my mum walk again =d
to own a personal laptop
a BIG birthday party in 2011
a simple MAKEOVER
a BOYFRIEND by the age of 23???

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Friday, June 25, 2010 @ 8:59 PM

hey peepz..
time checked:8.22pm
im in my room alone..
im feeling kinda down..
suppose 2 mit my gerfrenz 2moro..
bt i gt 2 cancel my planz coz noone 2 take care of my mum..
my dad gt sum badminton tournament 2moro..
my bro sure goin out wit hiz fiance..
& im left alone wit my mum AGAIN..
im nt complaining bt jz upset..
laz wk planz was cancelled 2 & tiz wk again cancelled..
i jz feel tat i dun get e freedom i use 2 hav..
y does im alwayz e one who haz 2 sacrifice my teenage freedom & life?..
cant sumbody else do it instead?..
itz hard 2 jz stay at home 24 hourz a day, 7 dayz a week..
im tired of tiz kind of life..
i feel tat im useless..
suddenly i feel lyke giving up my life..
yes ppl..
i feel veri2 tired & cant take tiz anymore..
i wanna scream out loud..
y is it me?!!..

as im writing tiz..
tears r dropping..
yez ppl im crying..
itz jz hard 4 me 2 hold back my tearz..
i jz feel my heart is torn into pieces..
i cant even take tyme off 2 release boredness staying at home e whole wk..
n it suckz!..
mondae skewlz goin 2 start & life will b back 2 normal..

4rom skewl 2 home..
home 2 skewl again..
wat a boring life!..
i noe my life will alwayz stay tiz way & itz nvr goin 2 change..
yez ppl..
i dunno y i feel tiz way..
i seldom hangout lyke other growing teenagerz..
my tyme r alwayz spent staying at home doing houzewerk tat nvr endz..
n again it tires me out..
maeb i should jz sleep & nvr wake up again..
then ppl wil realize how hard it is witout me doing e werk & taking care of e household..

nobody understandz how i feel..
im keeping al tiz bcoz i dun wanna hurt e feelingz of ppl i luv..
they hav their own problemz & i dun wanna burden them..
bt sumtymez keeping al e pain wil jz hurt me even more..
for godz sake!..
i need tyme off!..
y do they get 2 spend al their tyme outside bt i cant even step out 4 a moment?..

i dunno wat i should do..
ive been keeping tiz 4 so long..
& feel tat i hav 2 pour it out..
maeb tiz blog understandz me more..
i cant even get a companion coz im 2 bz wit my boring life..
even if i find one im afraid he will get bored & leave me coz i dun hav tyme 2 spare even 4 a moment..
dear god..
plze alwayz giv me e strength i need 2 endure al tiz pain & hardshipz..
let me find sumone who can understand & share al tiz pain..

& 2 my gerlfrenz..
im sori coz i gt 2 break off our appointment 2 meet up..
it was so unexpected..
i didnt mean it..
maeb we mit next tyme if i hav e tyme..
i miz u guyz alot..
we nvr mit 4 quite sum tyme bt gt 2 cancel our appointment..
sori again guyz..
luv ya..